I had...

a break down today at work.....i cried....
i couldnt handle it anymore...this is to stressful for me...
i dun want to say why it happen to me....but it did...all the time...
wat did i do to deserve all this....
everyone at work notice i'm different today...i really tried to act normal..
i really tried but the actions i did today is so obvious...

i dunno wat i want to do next......i try to ignore it....cos i know this happen before...
but somehow i think to think all the past and the things i did and do till now...
all came back to me....and it got so hard and today was like the last straw...
i really cant concentrate at work...my mind wonders somewhere...
all i can think rite now was him.....all is him....
issit all happen because i did something in my past lives....
all the wrongs i did....all the bad things i did to people...
and this wat i get....
well i think i deserves it....

it hurts me so much tat i feel like i just want to get away from it all...
go somewhere tat no one will know me....no one know wat i did....start afresh....
but as for now....i have to bear the pain i am going thru....
the hurt get.....the things i get in return....

oh gosh....i have to face the world tomorrow....
trying to make a brave front...make like nothing ever happen...
but i just cant.....it did happen...and i know it will happen....
i cant stop it....eventhough i try to stop it....

why did u do this to me...was i a joke to u..
was i one of urs tat make u feel stronger and i am the weak one...
i didnt do anything wrong to u.....not even once....
but this wat i get....oh for goodness sake.....
dun just keep popping into my life like tat....
i am not the kind who can just accept u.....

u have to meet me halfway here.....i cant do all the stuffs here...
i am not a one woman worker....everything sure can do...
u have to work this out too....
pls la....do something...
if u think this time will works...then make it works.....
and i know i will help u to make this works...

i want so much to believe u and trust u...
but how can i when u keep doing do this....
come one la...just say it or say something....
cos i really dun want to have a break down anymore...

not this time round.....cos this time...it hurts...really hurts....

Lolita....